Uninvented story (part 2)
Here it is the hospital. Clean Green Yard. And there are the sick. There are people of all ages and backgrounds, united by a heavy diagnosis of "chronic alcoholism", diagnosis behind which are crippled fate, exhausted wives and mothers, frightened children.
After a calm, frank talk with my doctor repeated the tests, prescribed treatment. Soon the vodka’s smell was put off. There was hope for recovery.
Once discharged the man lying in the ward next to me. At the hospital, he carried a maintenance therapy to prevent recurrence of the disease. He did not drink for five years. Before discharge, he told me:
- Listen, guy. I had everything. I drank so much that the enemy would not wish, believe me. But after the hospital I held. Held rigidly. Gradually, it becomes easier and easier, but now is not drawn to drink. Do not listen to windbags who claim that the treatment does nothing. Do not give it only to those who do not want to be treated. They are, in fact, here, and not a place. Want to be a man, hold on! Good luck!
It has long been on my mind was not so easy, after this conversation. As soon as the treatment went on, growing confidence that everything will be fine. Probably not now, not right away. But the work will be, a normal human happiness will be.
A course of treatment was up. And the doctors’ last words are:
- Now, a lot depends on you!
Hard, very hard given my first steps into a new life. I had to throw off the yoke of ill habits, to break with all that connected me with the same carbon dissolute life, with friends who were there when had money, and disappeared when they were not, with occasional drunken spree girlfriends. Break with all that heavy stone was drawn to the bottom. A test of wills began.
I went to my old place of work, where I was fired six months ago. I silently put on the table Chief of Staff reference from the hospital. I was believed the last time and was adopted. Life is gradually becoming a normal. And just coming from work in the bleak, empty house, I was reminded of the past. The cowardly little thought appeared in my head of loneliness: "Maybe I go to drink a little, to unwind? What will a terrible happen to a glass of wine?" But I drove her away. I was afraid that after the first glass followed by a second, the second - the third...
Firmly remember the words of the doctor: "You have to understand that drinking as drinking other people - one, two glasses, you can not. Your first drunk a glass lead to a recurrence of severe suffering".
More than once old friends suggested: "Let's have a drink!" Some people hear a firm "no", go, but often heard: "Oh, come thou, let's go, let's drink a glass and disperse. You are a man, are not you?" How I tell them:" Just because I am a man, I will not go and do not drink!"
I missed the family. More than once I was going to go to my wife and said, "If you love me, forgive me." But I realized that some words are useless. It had to be proved. To prove to her, to companions, and above all to yourself.
I took a book and sat down at the long-initiated thesis. On paper lay more and more new lines. I was in a hurry. There after so much time was lost, lost in vain. Day after day was held. Time, completed work, passed quickly and quietly. Thoughts about vodka were not. Looking at the drunks, the people descended, I thought with horror, "How close was I to this!"
A year has passed since I left the hospital. I went to the phone, dialed a familiar number. The wife picked up the phone. "I'm sorry, I have long wanted to tell you..."
... The first autumn leaves lay on the track boulevard. We sat on a bench by the pond familiar. We said a lot, very much good and right in that day to each other.